My name is Francesca. I am living in the Netherlands and I have made this website because I really want more awareness about bullying, worldwide. In October 2017 hashtag #metoo became trending and that arise the awareness of sexual harrasement and sexual assult. (Wikipedia) So let us see if we can make a new hashtag trending worldwide: #bullied

Why I made this website

The reason why I want more awareness is simple. I have been bullied for many years and it had affected my live more than I ever expected. As long as I can remember, the kids at school made fun of me. I am (was) a sensitive and emotional person, so it was easy. If they said something what I didn’t liked, I cried. If I fell and all the others where lauging at me, I cried. So when the kids figured that out, they had there target. In kindergarten when we played, I always had to be the baby, never the mother or on other person.

After a while they also started to push me around or wait at me after school. They pushed me from my bike, laughed at me or demolished my bike. They pretended to be my friend and when playing, they let me eat leaves or other things what wasn’t food. If I didn’t, they hit me. Or we played at my house and took(stole) toys from me. A lot happened and I don’t remember everything anymore.

As many other (Dutch) childeren (click), I never told my parents or my teachers. I just didn’t want to go to school. I took years before my parents found out. They’ve talked at school, but that didn’t worked. It only got worse.

Highschool

At the age of twelve, I got to highschool. I wanted to go to a school in another city because I wanted a fresh start at a place where nobody knew me. The city was 20 km so it took an hour by bike, but my parents didn’t allow me, so I had to attend highschool at the same city as where my elementary school was. That meant I became classmates again with some people who had bullied me, so it never stopped, it only got worse.

Most of the time I was feeling lonely and I desperately wanted to make friends. As a result, I did not do any homework or learnt for exams. I got low grades and did things I normally wouldn’t have done, just to get friends. I started smoking, shoplifting, smoking marihuana and at the age of 16, I used drugs (XTC, MDMA) for the first time.

One day, some kids handed over some papers. They copied information about a slaughterhouse for pigs. They highlighted every horrible detail about slaughtering pigs and annotated: “This is what will happen to you. This is what we will do to you”. I screamed and because of that, the teachers became aware. They called my parents and called the cops. The kids who gave it to me and who were involved with it, where kids from 3 different schools, 2 highschools and one elementary school. No matter which school they were, they were alle expelled for a few days. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop.

Because I was a easy target, I also became a target for sexual harrasement. I had my first sexual contact at the age of 14. I didn’t want to, but the person was nice to me and I didn’t wanted to lose that person.

College

When I was 17, I went to college. By that time, I was a really insecure teenager who didn’t know what she wanted. I had dreams, but I did not dare to follow them. I wanted to go abroad but that wasn’t possible. So I wanted a profession where I could work in other countries. But because I was insecure, it was difficult for me to make friends. At the age of 20 I moved out and started to live on my own in a studentdorm. I found a pub close by and I started to come there. At the beginning I had to fight to become friends with the regular customers. They didn’t accepted me. After a while it got better. I entered a dartteam and every month there was a big competition we all attended.